Definitely Daphne by Tami Charles

Author:Tami Charles
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: fiction; Stone Arch Books; vlogger; vlog; YouTube; middle grade; middle school; army family; military; dancing; theater; sports; fashion; computers; performing arts; friendship; self-esteem; self-confidence; 9781684360314; 9781684360871; 9781684360321
Publisher: Capstone
Published: 2018-07-02T16:00:00+00:00

25

I Don’t Do Drama

When I get home, I retreat to my girl cave, because even though I should feel on top of the world right now, I don’t. I don’t want to talk to Mom or Dad. Or even Mae. She texts me around ten p.m., which means it’s three in the morning in the UK, which means she literally waited up all night to ask: “Hey, amiga! How was the play?”

And for once, I don’t respond. I know, I know. Worst. Friend. Ever.

But I need time to sort through my feelings. I don’t understand why Rachael seemed so mad at me. I only did what understudies are supposed to do — to step in when I was needed. At first I thought I would like doing drama, but what I’m seeing is that with drama comes “drama-drama,” and that is not for me. Suddenly I feel an itch to make a video.

I look at my clothes rack and pick out an outfit — a royal, Victorian dress. I put on a white wig styled in a bouffant, piled high on my head, and bright-red lipstick. I hold a lace handkerchief in one hand for dramatic effect. I set up my camera and scribble down my scenes. A few runs through my lines, and I’m ready to shoot. Counting down in five, four, three, two…

“Hey, guys. It’s your girl, Daphne, and I’m back with another episode of Daphne Doesn’t. Now I know in my last video I was all about ‘Daphne Does Drama.’ But I changed my mind about one thing. I may like drama, but I definitely don’t do drama, and here’s why:

“Number one: Too much makeup. Like, seriously… how is it comfortable to walk around with an entire cake frosted on your face?

“Number two: The bright lights blinding you. It’s like: Is the white light coming to get me? Is this how it all ends?

“Number three: Eyeballs. Yup, you heard that right. EYES, people!!! When you’re on stage, there are people… staring at you. And then your heart starts to beat really fast and your hands start to sweat and you try to do what all the books say: Picture everyone in their underwear. But when you do that, you see your grandma sitting in the front row, and she’s got hair on her chest. So you try to unsee that whole travesty, but when you do, it’s back to the glowing eyeballs. And the fear starts all over again. Now I know what you’re thinking: ‘But Daphne, there are eyeballs watching you on these videos.’ Touché! But! Right now it’s just me in my girl cave, with a single camera. The eyeballs come later — when I’m not around. Whew! I’ve said a mouthful. But seriously, people: beware the eyeballs.

“Number four: Butt spray. ‘What is that?’ you ask. I’m glad you did. Citizens of YouTube, there is a thing called butt spray, and if you can’t already tell by the name, it’s an adhesive that you spray… on your butt… to avoid getting a serious case of the wedgies mid-scene.

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